• Carmen Milligan

I'm a journaler ... well, I was ...

I am a journaler. Well, if truth be told, I used to be a journaler.

You see, there was a group on facebook that I joined, a group of (mostly) ladies who journaled about their day, then decorated the page. The decor was either doodles, stickers. stamps, drawings; you know, ephemera.

I was hooked!

I bought, planned, tried layouts, changed journal sizes, experimented with pens and paper thickness. I even bought a set of Schmincke watercolors. Which I have rarely used. At least I got them hardly used off of Etsy.

Several years later, lots of supplies later, and quite a number of filled journals later, my latest journal sits on the side table in the living room. I think the last entry was in July. Why do I love something so much, then just cast it aside? It had definitely become a habit, to log my day in the evening. It was a pleasure to see the pages come together. My notes, layered with tea-stained paper, a torn strip of washi, and a botanical stamp in the corner. When I look back at my completed journals, they make me happy.

Am I a one trick pony? Now that I am pouring more energy into Bubbly Bibbly, do I have nothing left to give to this years-long-habit of journaling? Am I so easily distracted? Am I using this forum as my journal, much like it occurs to me that I am now doing, with this post? Typing seems so much faster and more efficient than putting a pen to paper. The words flow from my brain, down to my fingertips, and onto the keyboard. Then, boom! That thought is logged. There seems to be more of an effort required with a journal.

But isn't that the point? To take the time and enjoy the process? To think, mull, ponder, THEN put to paper. Not a gush of vomitous stream of consciousness. Maybe journaling is meant to be more intentional and less random. I do find that journaling, at least the way I did it, demands planning, placement, and thoughtfulness. My hands striking the keyboard as I come to realizations? Not so much. There is more of a spontaneity to a blog. More of an intentionality with a journal.

Does that mean that the two can coexist? At least in my world, which seems strangely one-laned at times? Can I make it work? Does something else have to be sacrificed first? Is there enough room in my being for another creative endeavor? Do I really need another?

Stay tuned...

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